How to Cook A Turkey

I have a confession. This secret I carry with me is a huge embarrassment to my family. But I am going to share it with you anyway. I hate cooking. Hate. It. With a passion. It's just SO TEDIOUS. So while my AJE teammates are all sharing their delicious recipes, my secret is festering and about to cause me to explode. 

It is with much delight that I share a meme that was going around on facebook a couple days before Thanksgiving, and is totally relevant to Christmas too. It is perhaps the only way I could tolerate hosting a Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner at my house. 

How to Cook A Turkey:

Step 1: Buy a Turkey.

Step 2: Have a glass of wine (perhaps refer back to Francesca's post on inexpensive yummy reds first).

Step 3: Stuff turkey.

Step 4: Have a glass of wine.

Step 5: Put turkey in oven.

Step 6: Relax, and have another few glasses of wine.

Step 7: Turk the bastey.

Step 8: Wine of glass another get.

Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer

Step 10: Glass yourself another pour of wine.

Step 11: Bake the wine for 4 hours.

Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey.

Step 13: Floor the turkey up off the pick.

Step 14: Turk the carvey.

Step 15: Get yourself another wottle of bine.

Step 16: Tet the sable, and pour yourself another glass of turkey.

Step 17: Say grace, throw-up, and pass out. 

And with that, we are signing off for the night! Hope you have enjoyed the day with us and if you missed any of the posts, please go back and peruse because some of us actually had really interesting and helpful information to share...unlike this meme and my deep dark secret. 

I will be drawing a winner for the Bead Soup book at about 10:15. So if you haven't entered, get there quick!

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This post is part of the Art Jewelry Elements 2012 Holiday Open House.

Art Jewelry Elements team members are offering special deals in their online shops to AJE readers starting today and going through Cyber Monday (November 26). You can see the complete list of participating members and details about the discounts here.

Please help support the artist community by buying handmade for your gift-giving this year.