Sharpening the saw...

Nope, not my jeweler's saw, although it's been getting a workout.

Sawing, sawing, sawing and more sawing.

One of my goals for this year was to take a drawing class. I've always believed I'm talentless in the drawing arena, but some of my AJE team members convinced me that drawing - which includes the process of learning to see things differently - is really a learned skill. So with their encouragement, I decided to take the plunge. Sort of.

Instead of a drawing class, I decided to take a beginning painting class with our Roadhouse Arts acrylics instructor, the very talented Stephanie Davis. Best of all, my husband Nick is taking it with me too, so we get some creative time in the midst of of a very busy season of our lives.

It's been an interesting process over several weeks. As has been the case for centuries, beginning painters learn by copying work done by other, more experienced painters.

One of my favorite artists, JMW Turner, started out copying old masters before he found his own style.
(photo source)

But before we could get to the "good" stuff, we spent an entire class (and in my case a number of hours of homework afterwards) creating color charts. The idea was to introduce us to the basic concepts of color theory and then give us a chance to experiment with some of them. It was also a crash course in color mixing, learning all about the colors in our respective palettes. I honestly found this exercise fascinating.

Among other things, I learned that a little bit of Phthalo Blue (with Green Shade) goes a very, very long way.

With that under our belts, we set out to find still lifes that appealed to us. I chose this pretty mixed media piece by Maria Pace-Wynters.

Blue Poppy Garden 2, a mixed media piece by Maria Pace-Wynters
(photo source)

Stephanie told us that for our versions, we were only allowed to use two analogous colors and whatever secondary colors they create. And she also told me to simplify the background, which was a relief, because this gorgeous background is far beyond my ability to duplicate.

It doesn't come close to the original - and as you can see, it's also not finished. I am in awe of the other students in the class, most of whom are able to finish their pieces in less than three hours. I am not one of them. Hopefully I'll get to finish it once my BeadFest adventure is over - I want to do a little more with the background, and I can't get the color right for the little chysanthemum in the corner. But it was a fascinating exercise into how to "see" differently and how to establish an effective communication between my brain and my hands so that I can recreate what I'm seeing.

I did much better with my second project, although it is also not finished. The assignment was to take a simple two-subject still life and recreate it in different colorways to evoke four different emotions: happy, somber, calm, and sweet. I picked this simple, cheerful still life by Pam Van London:

[photo source]

In some ways, this project was more successful - I started with "happy" because the original was so bright and cheerful, and I think my pears actually look like pears. But in other ways, this project was extremely stressful - making color choices for the other moods was very hard, and you can see how far I've gotten with it.

Learning to create "volume" was eye-opening. I've very proud of the fact that my pears actually look a little like fat, round pears!!

Again, other students in the room whipped through the assignment and left with mostly completed pieces. I ended the evening feeling half proud (round pears for the win!) and half disgusted (they're only colors, for heaven's sake!) which probably means I was overthinking the whole thing.

Because of the work I'm having to do to get ready for BeadFest, I'm going to miss the rest of the classes this time around - but I'm planning to take the workshop when it's offered again in the fall. The introduction to color theory has been fascinating, even though I'm at the place where it's still more mystery than edifcation at the moment, and I am very encouraged by the (admittedly intermittent) ability to look at something and evaluate it with an eye towards replicating it. As someone without a formal art education, this has been kind of a big deal. (Plus: according to my bio, I have "an emerging interest in mixed media" and I am loving playing around with color combinations. I might even revive a bead colorway project I dreamed up a few years ago!)

Already, I've been able to put some of that newfound sensitivity to color to good use. I resolved a couple of layout issues for recent advertising pieces that was heavily influenced by incompatible colors, and I solved a design issue on a recent jewelry piece that turned out to be related to the color of an accent stone I was trying to use. I may have eventually gotten to the same place without knowing why or how, but being able to be more intentional in that process was a win.

So I'm sharpening my "creative saw" with pursuits that have nothing to do with my main focus of metalsmithing and jewelry-making, and already I'm liking how it's sparking new thoughts and new ways of looking at what I do. How about you? What are you doing to keep your creative saw sharp?

Until next time -

My Creative Process

Do I have one? Yesterday was one of those dismal days that I think every artist I've ever known has encountered—that day when you wonder if you're really creative at all. Why are things suddenly so hard? Why are ideas flopping left and right?

Yes, that was me. And this was my work table—piled high with beads (some were on the floor too) for a tutorial design that had seemed wonderful all week and up until the very moment I sat down to make it reality. Nothing worked! Colors, shape, texture—they all disagreed with my design!

I began to wonder how designs like these came together. Were they just a happy accident? Do I really know what I'm doing? Am I crazy?

Haha! At this point I laughed and poured myself another cup of coffee… I was doing it again! I was feeling the effects of overworking myself and forcing creativity.

We all know that creativity can't be forced. Some days it comes easily and other days it would have been better to have never entered the studio… or even gotten out of bed, for that matter!

It was a day of reflection yesterday. Most importantly I realized that my creative process has never changed, but it is sometimes stifled. I think that creativity is a precious, and often fleeting thing, and it only comes when it is entirely welcome.

I paused for a bit to think about what's not working for me and why, and also, what has worked to overcome the issue in the past…

Re-evaluating the task: Stepping back and considering what has been completed. I like to know how much time I've spent and recalculate my estimate of time needed to finish. Hopefully I'm ahead of schedule (unlikely!) or at least on schedule (maybe!)… or if I'm behind (probably!) I can quickly determine what needs to be changed to meet my goal.

Re-organizing the mess: I'm an organized person by nature, but somehow things always get piled high on my work table. A few minutes spent straightening things always helps me! I get my work space back in order and find anything that was lost in my creative fury and am then ready for my next creation.

Completing monotonous, but necessary tasks: Marking things off my to-do list is always encouraging and I like to stick to the ones that require no brain power when I'm feeling uncreative. My hands are busy and things are getting accomplished and best of all, the monotony of the task allows my mind to wander on to new ideas.

Being inspired by accomplishments and mementos: I like to keep a few of my recent projects nearby for a reminder that I really do know what I'm doing. Mixed in with my creations on this shelf are several other mementos—a collection of found objects, gifts from friends and family… and one of my very first polymer creations: a little sculpture of my childhood pet rooster, Button, that I made early 2002.

I keep my jewelry boxes in my studio and often sort through them when I'm feeling uncreative. I've amassed way more jewelry than I have time to wear, but I love to go back through the creative process and reflect on what inspired each design. And I can't forget about the art beads that they each hold—from artists all around the world—each bead is an inspiration!

Breathing some fresh air: A must! Even just 15 minutes out to see the growing things (or in my case lately—the falling snow and rain!) goes a long way to lifting my spirits. The quiet of nature with its unmatched creative wonders and the ease of life where money and career are of no significance is a beautiful thing!

And now, today… I'm feeling creative again! I've rediscovered my creative process and I remember now that I do in fact love to create. And that is something that will never change no matter how often I lose sight of it!

My tutorial design is even taking on new life… I think it may become something after all!

So to you all, I'm wishing you a very creative weekend. And for those of you who feel you've lost your creative process and are maybe even going down the scary road of doubting your skills and dreams—remember it's okay! It's part of being an artist. It helps us grow and better ourselves. Don't be afraid to take a break. I hope my post has maybe inspired you to reflect on your own creative process and what it is that helps you move on and get back to the thing you love most: creating!

Rebekah Payne
Tree Wings Studio
Blog: treewingsstudio.com
Shop: treewingsstudio.etsy.com

Revisited: The D Word

I'm just coming off a week in the Texas Hill Country for the Roadhouse Arts jewelry and design retreat - an amazing time of creating and exploring what it means to be an artist. In addition to sharing the experience with the awesome retreat attendees and my dear friends Gail Stouffer and Melissa Muir, I also got to meet and get to know Connie Fox, whose work inspired me to get into metals in the first place.  I'll have something to say about it all once I've had a chance to process it a bit, but in the meantime, I thought this post on the essential nature of discipline was a good fit for where my head is at. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * *

In yesterday's post, the very awesome Louise Goodchild asked a terrific question: "What do you do to kick start your creativity if your muse has done a vanishing act?"

Several versions of this question have been rattling around in my head since my business partner Lisa gave a presentation to the San Antonio Glass Art Guild on a similar issue a couple of weeks ago. How do we motivate ourselves? What's the difference between people who long to make a creative life and those who actually do? How on earth do some people make dozens of gorgeous components or pieces in a weekend while others of us spend the same amount of time with the jewelry equivalent of a writer's blank page? How is it that some makers manage to become unique and recognizable artists while others struggle to find the "it" that speaks to and about them?

Beautiful ceramic components by Karen Totten

Rebecca Payne's leather feathers - yum!

Gorgeous ceramic components in progress by Diana Ptaszynski

It isn't that they're more talented (sorry ladies!) - though they are indeed extraordinarily talented. It boils down to discipline - they sit down and do the work, whether they feel like it or not.

I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.

- Pearl S. Buck

Ouch. There have been lots of times I've chosen a movie or a nap over pushing through and doing something productive at my bench, because I didn't "feel it" that day. What did I miss by not requiring a measure of discipline from myself?

You may not be a Picasso or Mozart but you don’t have to be. Just create to create. Create to remind yourself you’re still alive. Make stuff to inspire others to make something too. Create to learn a bit more about yourself.

- Frederic Terral

I've been in a funk - both personally and creatively - for several months, and I wrote about it recently on my blog. But this recurring question about the "how" of creativity has jolted me into looking at it in a different way: I can't expect to be creative if I'm not creating.

(Insert "I coulda had a V-8" headslap here.)

Let me put it another way:

So, my answer to yesterday's question?

Go make something.

Until next time -

Searching for the Perfect Supplier

Hello again, dear readers! It's my turn again to share all my latest happenings. Today you won't find me shaping polymer beads, painting, or even making jewelry. Today, I'm testing. Testing to find my new perfect supplier of suede leather…

This journey has been more than 2 months in the making… and I'm so very happy to finally see the end coming into sight!

I never really thought when I first started making my Leather Feathers that my stock of suede leather would run out. But then, I also hadn't envisioned making hundreds of feathers either… and then wanting to make more feathers and other designs too!

My Leather Feather story actually starts about 40 years ago when my mom purchased several suede hides directly from a tannery in Benicia CA (since closed down), she had planned to make soft luggage. For one reason or another she never did. Growing up, my siblings and I enjoyed using the hides for building tee-pees and dressing up as Indians every Thanksgiving. Years went by and then they were packed into a box for the move to VA. After that, they were mostly forgotten. And finally several years ago they started to make their way into a few of my projects… and at last they became my Leather Feathers! Now I'm down to only a few small suede pieces left.

In my search for a new supplier, I have discovered what I considered to be a "normal" natural-looking brownish color is incredibly rare (at least right now… I suspect that has a lot to do with color trends) and have spent endless hours searching for it.

Little by little the swatches have trickled in…

There's such excitement when a new swatch packet arrives. I sometimes open it fresh out of the mailbox—a 1/2 mile walk from the house! Beautiful colors of course, but many times the joy is followed by a sigh of disappointment at not receiving the color I need so badly!

More searching, more ordering, more phone calls, more emails written, more snippets of my dwindling stock mailed off for a potential match… And lots of waiting…

There were a few other leathers that caught my eye and I couldn't resist snatching up a few extra swatches…

New designs can't help but start to take shape in my mind when I have new textures and colors in front of me!

At last all the swatches are finally in and the testing is nearly complete… 

So many contributing factors—color, thickness, body, texture, length of nap, paintability, burnability—yes, I think I just made that one up! All are essential, but many of the leathers don't meet all. I'm a perfectionist and will only be satisfied with the very best—I want my next leather to come as close as possible to perfection.

So, this is what my weekend is going to look like. Paint testing is next. And of course there will be a few bead batches getting my attention too. Busy, busy!!

Tell me about you! Have you ever spent countless hours searching for a crafting supply or jewelry component? What was it and did you find it? Did you find something better or maybe discover something entirely new? Do share!

Rebekah Payne

Tree Wings Studio

Struggling with Creativity

Happy New Year everyone! Is it still okay to say that, now that it's 17 days into the new year?!… it just felt wrong not to since this my first post of the new year. I do hope you each had a most wonderful holiday!

The beginnings of a shop restock.

I'm now about two weeks back from a very short, but much needed break over the Christmas holiday and things are once again starting to look much like they always do: I'm packing molds and shaping fine details on dozens of beads, and next week I'll be starting my first paint batch. One of my very favorite things! Here's a bit more of what's taking shape on my work table right now…

If you would like to know what I did during my break, the answer is simple: I made things! In other words, I swapped out bead making for other kinds of making. I made pies, cookies, and my mom and I spent many hours in the kitchen preparing all the other homemade goodies my family loves. I do love to bake! And then I made a few gifts—jewelry, a vase (I was still working on it on Christmas morning!) and some little tiny plant pots. And I started another couple gifts that weren't finished in time and had to be given as work-in-progress gifts. Have I convinced you that I really have no clue how to take a real vacation?

This was my work table 3 days before Christmas! You would have never guessed I wasn't making beads.

My heart is so very happy when I'm creating, especially if it's something special for someone I love. And I truly believe that what talents I have are a gift meant to be used and shared. So anyhoo… when Caroline asked us all about our goals for the new year, I came to the full realization that I really didn't have much planned. I had been pondering things for the past few months and even though there are so many things I want to do, there was nothing really solid, and it finally hit me hard.

A little tiny air plant pot! I made three of these little guys.

What I've realized most, is just how much my creativity has consumed me—filling up every last moment of my days. I joke that if I'm not working, I'm working: it's either my day job or my studio job, but I'm always working. I actually feel sad that some of it kept me so busy that I missed out on time with my family and friends. It's no longer a hobby, but a second job. One that I do love, for sure! I mean, who can complain about doing something that has been a life long dream? But when you miss out on the simple things like dinner and movie night with family. every. single. time. It's time to step back and rethink things.

This vase, for my mom, was my Christmas morning project. I finished just in time to open gifs… actually gift opening was delayed on my behalf. :-)

I do have a very good excuse for being so late: the gift I purchased for her arrived late and was not quite what I had expected. Handmade gifts win every time!

I know some of you might ask why I am complaining at my success. But no, it's not that at all! I'm overjoyed and am so very thankful for each and every success that comes my way. It's not at all success that I am struggling with, but how to rein in my creativity. Just a little bit.

It's the struggle on how to feel okay about a particular bead being sold out for a few weeks while I fiddle with new ideas that might come to nothing. Or when to clean up and turn out the lights in my studio early some nights. Or even for a weekend. It's about the struggle on how to handle not doing it all, all the time. For a person who thrives on organization, schedules, and lists it's an alarming thing to discover just how unorganized I've become! Take for example me editing this post at 2:58am because I was too busy making beads earlier. See what I mean?

I always laugh when someone who doesn't understand what I do comments on how nice it must be to work for myself, because it means I can take breaks whenever I want and do what I want… really!? That certainly wasn't in my business manual.

Does this all mean that I'm burnt out or should take a long vacation? Not yet and no. I think there will probably always be beads coming from Tree Wings Studio. I am often exhausted, but know I'm not burnt out when new ideas are constantly flooding into my mind. Yes—what about all the new beads that I hint at every so often? I do want to finally make them!

I really can make new beads, if I make the time for them—nothing quite like a Secret Santa gift swap to push me to create something brand new!

So, for this year, my one and only true goal is to live life just a little bit more, to stop working so hard, to actually stop creating all the time… to breath a little and relax, and be inspired by more quiet time and time with family. I hope that this will in turn fuel my determination to work more efficiently. I think it may prove harder than any other goal I've ever set…

Okay, now it's your turn! Do you ever struggle with too much creativity? Does it ever get in the way of other things you love doing? Or maybe you have found that happy balance? Do share!

Rebekah Payne

Tree Wings Studio